Pure randomness
by GothamGirl225
Summary: A few drabbles and such, I really have no better name for it. rated T because I have no idea what to expect from this little brain of mine. please R&R!
1. Elbow

"You so can _not_!"

"I so can to!"

"Cannot!"

"Can to!"

"Prove it."

"No."

"Then I don't believe you."

"But I can!"

"Then prove it!"

"Fine."

"…"

"…"

"That's awesome!"

"I told you I could!"

"Baywatch, Robin, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Hey, beautiful! Check out what Robin can do!"

"How the heck do you do that?"

"I'm the Boy Wonder."

"Greetings Artemis, Robin, Kid Flash. What are you doing?"

"Hey Aqualad! Look at what Robin can do!"

"… All Atlanteans can do that."

"Awesome! _Two_ people on our team can do it!"

"I bet Megan can do it!"

"Go ask her, Wally."

"Ask me what?"

"Hey Megan! I've got a really important question."

"What Wally?"

"Can you lick your elbow?"

I've only met one person who could do it, and they were a professional contortionist. I figured Robin could probably do it, and Khaldur has weird body proportions anyway, and Megan could probably just morph her tongue or something.


	2. snuggling

It was a Rainy day. The rain was a chilly downpour, the kind of precipitation that drove all fun interests out of your mind, and anything you started to do became boring in a matter of seconds. These kind of days were torture on the team, one speedster in particular.

"I. Am. So. Bored."

"We know Baywatch, we heard you the last fifteen times."

"Dude," Robin interrupted, trying to prevent a fight from breaking out in the living room. "Why don't you just read a book?"

"Books make my head hurt"

"Play a video game?"

"Video games make my eyes hurt."

"Help Megan cook?"

"Cooking makes my hands hurt."

"Baywatch, I swear to god, if you don't get up and _do something_, I'm going to make all of you hurt. Very. Badly."

"I think I'll go read a book." Wally said quickly, jumping off the couch and speeding off to his room.

"Where the hell is Baywatch?"

"I believe he has retired to his room, Artemis." Aqualad said, looking up from his book.

"It's been fifteen minutes, and he hasn't come out for a snack. That either means he's killed himself, or he's up to something very bad."

"I am not aware of what I should do about that."

"I didn't think you were. Robin, go check on him."

"Dude, He's had enough time to set up a nuclear bomb in there, I am _not_ going in without backup."

"Fine." Artemis said, dragging herself off the couch. "I'll come with you."

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When they opened the door, they found an extremely dazed wally staring at his computer screen with a far away expression on his face.

"Oh my god," Robin muttered. "I think he's gone catatonic."

"Hey! Kid Idiot, snap out of it." Artemis said, snaping her fingers in front of his face. Wally jerked away and shook his head

"I'm still bored." He whined. "Look," he gestured to the computer screen. "It got so bad I started googling myself."

"That's just… Sad, Wally." Artemis groaned.

"Um, KF? What's that link? It says Young Justice Archive, aren't we a covert team?"

"yeah," Artemis added, "And check out the URL, ?

Wally shrugged and clicked the link.

"Woah!" he said, "It's like they have their own language! What's Slash? And fluff? And Spitfire? Or waltermis? Or wallart? Or Robtanna?"

"Or supermartian." Robin added

"Try that link, it says there's lots of slash." Artemis said, pointing to one of the blue links.

Robin opened the link, and they started reading.

"ARGH!" Wally shouted. "GO BACK! GO BACK!

Artemis snickered, and started reading aloud.

"Robin and Wally sat together on the couch, watching TV.

'I love you Robin, you're the best Boyfriend in the world. When I look into your eyes, I get lost in their blue depth, and your hair, it's like a raven's wing…'

Robin sighed and snuggled closer to his lover

'continue' he said, a pretty blush tinting his porcelain skin-"

"SHUT UP ARTEMIS!" Wally cut her off. "OH MY GOD! I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE."

She smiled.

"Wow, Wally, I never knew you could be so poetic! And Robin, wow. Just, wow."

"I sound so… Un-manly." The boy said, still staring at the screen.

"_YOU_ SOUND UN-MANLY? WHAT ABOUT _ME_? I SOUND LIKE… LIKE SHAKESPEARES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Wally cried, still extremely disturbed by what he had just read.

"inside voices please." Artemis smirked. "Let's try another one. You pick this time Wally, and might I suggest you stay away from any that say 'slash' in the description"

"Fine." He said, scrolling shakily through the descriptions. "How 'bout this? 'Lots of Spitfire, M for a reason.'"

Artemis shrugged, and Robin once again clicked the link. She began reading out loud again.

"They were both sweating, Skin pressed against skin, her bare chest pressed against his own, as she felt him grow hard beneath her. They explored each others mouths, toungues fighting for control. Slowly, he drew away from her mouth, and began suckling one of her breasts, all the while keeping his hands tangled in her long blonde hair, while she played with his own bright red lock- GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK!" she practically shrieked, the smirk melting off her face as she crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

This time, nobody was amused, not even Robin. The boy wonder sat there in shock, before stating meakley,

"well, _that_ image is never leaving my head."

"my mind feels so… Un-clean." Artemis said awkwardly.

"we need to destroy this website." Wally said. His face was almost as red as his hair, and he was thankful he had changed into his civvies. His bright yellow spandex would easily reveal his now protruding problem.

"let's give it one more try." Artemis said. "how about Robin chooses this time?"

The boy Wonder began scrolling through the links, glancing over the descriptions.

"Hey, look at these! 'Robin dies' 'Robin is wounded' 'robin gets shot' 'Robin is fataly ill', do these people hate me or something? Oh, this one looks good, something about Gotham Academy, Isn't that were you go to school, Artemis?" he said, clicking the link. Artemis began reading aloud once more.

"His name was Dick Grayson, he had blue eyes, the color of the ocean, rich and endless. He was smart, the lead Mathlete at school, and Rich too. He had been adopted by none other than Bruce Wayne, after his family had died while preforming their Trapeze act at Haley's circus. Artemis Crock had some strange feeling about him, the way he walked, and his voice, they reminded her of someone else, but she wasn't sure who. What she didn't know, was that every night, after school, he mussed his raven black hair, changed his navy uniform for black and red Spandex, strapped on his utility belt, and joined his mentor, as together, they became Ba-"

"That's enough of that." Robin said, abruptly snapping the laptop closed. "We should really get back to the living room, let everybody know we're still alive and all that good stuff."

"Aww, c'mon man! I wanted to see the look on her face when she figured it out!" Wally complained. "Even I didn't know the thing about the blue eyes! These people are serious stalkers."

"That was… completely true." Artemis said. "That's exactly what I thought of him. How did they know?" she glanced over at Robin, and her eyes widened a bit. "Um, Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you wearing black and red Spandex?"

She could see his eyes narrow from behind the domino mask, but all he said was,

"You should really go check in with Khaldur."

"Fine." The blonde said, leaving the room with one last suspicious look at the boy wonder.

As soon as she left, Robin jumped back onto the bed, taking a seat next to his red headed, and still red faced friend. He grabbed his arm, smushing himself against the older boy's chest.

"Um, Robin? What are you doing?"

The younger boy looked up, an innocent smile painted across his face.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked, batting his eyelashes.

"I'm not sure…" he said, worry and fear clearly printed on his face.

"I'm snuggling." He said, and attempted an innocent laugh, which quickly turned into a sinister cackle.

"OH GOD NO! LET GO OF ME!" Wally shouted, trying to free himself from the death grip Robin now had on his arm. The boy pulled a face, but continued holding on to his friend's arm.

"But I thought you loved me? My Beautiful, blue eyes. My porcelain skin…"

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"How are Robin and Kid Flash fairing?" Aqualad inquired, as he saw Artemis emerge from the speedster's room.

"Oh, just fine." She said casually, trying to appear nonchalant about the horrific website they had just discovered. "He's um, sleeping. Robin went to go hack a website, or I hope he did. How about we just do something els-" She was cut off by a shout coming from Wally's bedroom.

"STOP SNUGGLING ME! THIS ISN'T SOME CRACK SLASH FIC, LET GO!"

"Artemis?"

"Yes, Aqualad?"

"What is slash?"

"you don't want to know."

Didn't you ever wonder what would happen if The team found out about ? I don't think they would approve.


	3. hygene

"Stop licking your butt."

Wolf looked up from his previous activities, with an angry look on his face.

"Or not." Wally said quickly.

"Technically, Wolf is evolved to have an interest in self grooming which means, in this case, licking his-"

"Thanks for the biology lesson Rob, but does he have to do it while we're eating?" The speedster continued.

"At least he isn't licking his-"

Suddenly Khaldur cleared his throat. This was an incredibly awkward situation for him. Robin and Kid Flash were the only ones here besides himself, the rest of the team busy with other affairs. Of all the people he could get stuck in a cave with, Robin and Kid Flash were by far the oddest. At some point the speedster had proposed they order pizza, and they were now sitting on the couch, amidst many empty pizza boxes, finishing off the last one together.

"Actually, most species have that natural instinct to groom their-" Robin continued, but was cut short by wally asking a question.

"Do Atlanteans?"

"Do we what?"

"Do they lick their butts?"

"Not that I'm aware of." Khaldur said, wishing he could be _anywhere_ but right there at the moment.

"What about fish?"

"I do not believe a fish could…"

"reach?"

"Exactly." He said, praying that Wally would drop the conversation.

"Do Atlanteans lick their-"

"No Robin, no we do not."

"Well, all species who lick their butts typically lick their-"

"I will say it again, I do not believe Atlanteans lick their butts _or_ their-"

'_Recognized Captain Marvel'_ The computer interrupted, and Khaldur felt relieved. Even if Captain Marvel could be a bit… odd, at times, he was a welcome distraction at the moment.

"Hey guys!" the man shouted as he materialized. "Did you save any pizza for me?" he asked, spotting the cardboard boxes that littered the floor.

"Nope." Wally said with difficulty through his mouthful of pizza, but Captain Marvel seemed distracted by the fact that wolf had re-engaged in his hygienic activities.

"Hey Khaldur?" he said, curiosity in his voice.

"Yes, Captain Marvel?"

"Do Atlanteans lick their-"

"NO"

Wow, what have I been smoking? This was really random. I don't really know how this happened, actually I do. My dog was licking his butt and I said "stop licking your butt" then a friend commented that that would be an odd sentence to start a story with, and thus I was inspired.


	4. cuteness

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Pleeeeeeeeeease"

"No, Wally. We cannot have a pet at the cave."

"Aww, c'mon Khaldur! Supey has two pets, and I can't have one?"

Robin snorted from his perch on the couch.

"A steroid enhanced Wolf and a ball of extra-terrestrial metal hardly count as pets dude." He added.

"Gee, thanks Rob. I totally thought you would back me up on this."

"Nah, dogs take too much work. And he's just a puppy, he's probably not even house broken."

"But just _look_ at him." Wally whined, and Khaldur couldn't help but look down. The dog was indeed, as the humans say, cute. He had a mess of black fur that could only be described as fluffy, and huge, clumsy paws. His short tail whipped back and forth with excitement, and one of his perky ears had flopped down over his eye. But the eyes, they were so big and round. Warm brown orbs, that screamed out 'pet me' and added an overall lovable flair to the puppy.

_Dammit_


	5. Pissed at Men Syndrome

Breakfast at the cave was typically non-eventful, and usually only involved all members of young justice during the weekend, when they had nowhere better to be. On one of said days, Robin and Khaldur where eating breakfast, while Megan made a few dozen eggs for Wally. Superboy hovered by her side, constantly trying to pull her away every time the flame in the burner spit. Nobody had even noticed Wally and Artemis's absence until the speedster came screeching around the corner.

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" he shouted, speeding past the table in a blur of red and yellow Flash pajamas. Before anybody could register what had just happened, Artemis came speeding around the very same corner.

"WALLY WEST YOU ARE SO DEAD!" she shouted, drawing her bow and aiming at where the boy had been only a second ago. As soon as she turned the next corner, the Boy in question reappeared, immediately ducking behind the kitchen counter.

"did…did she see me?" he gasped, doubled over from exhaustion.

"Um, KF? You were kind of hard to miss. What did you do?"

"I…don't even…know." He said, still gasping for air. "She was being really nice a minute ago, but suddenly she's acting like she wants to castrate me with her arrows"

Robin snickered into his hand, as Aqualad began to question the speedster.

"What do you mean? Artemis is _never_ nice to you."

"I know, it freaked me out. I just woke up and she was sitting on the edge of my bed, smiling really big and going on about how beautiful it was outside."

"It's Raining."

"I know! She just kept smiling and talking though, then all of a sudden, she broke down crying."

"Why?"

"I have no idea! She kept saying she was ugly and fat."

Robin groaned.

"What did you say to her?" he asked warily, afraid of the answer.

"I told her she was totally hot! She might not have as good a rack as Wonder woman, but she was still smoking. Then she gets all mad and starts shooting me. I'm lucky I escaped with me life."

"KF, you're _such_ an idiot."

"What did I do?"

"What didn't you do?" the boy said. "No girl wants to hear that you think she's not as hot as somebody else. Especially not somebody in Artemis's… condition."

"Condition?"

"Dude, do you _ever_ pay attention in health class?"

"Um…"

"I think she's got PMS."

"Which means…"

"Khaldur, help me out here."

"Sorry Robin, but I do not believe Atlanteans get this… PMS."

"What does it stand for?" Wally asked, looking expectantly at Robin. Suddenly, the all ducked as an arrow whipped past their heads, impaling itself in the kitchen cabinet.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU GUYS! EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!" they heard Artemis scream from across the room.

"Pissed at Men Syndrome?" Khaldur offered helpfully.


	6. Duck

"Are you ever going to change the channel?"

"No Robin, leave me alone."

"But this is soooooooooooo boring."

"Then go do something else"

"Nah, I'm good."

"hey Robin! Conner! Want a cookie? They're fresh!"

"Sure miss M!"

"sure M'gann."

"Heads up!" the cheery Martian shouted.

"Anas Platrhynchos." Robin said casually.

"Wha-" Suberboy was cut short by a sugar cookie whacking him in the face.

"It's the scientific name for a mallard."

"which means…"

"duck."

"Oh."

"Pretty clever right?"

"Mhm, hey Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Anas Platrhynchos."

"Wha-" Robin was cut short by a sugar cookie whacking him in the face.

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I figured Robin's antics probably bothered Supey the most, but he never gets payback. Also, I just wanted somebody to wipe that smug little look off Robin's face just once. Not that I don't love the look, but still. This was a short one.


	7. shoes

A/N: why hello, yes, I _am_ alive. I apologize in advance for how short this story is, and it doesn't really have A punch line. It's inspired by the fact that I went to the mall to get some shoes, and discovered that converse came out with a line of DC themed tennis shoes. I got even more excited when a short, dark haired kid with sunglasses entered the store with his tall, redheaded friend, who seemed _way_ too excited about the flash shoes. I know that sounds like bull, but I'm not kidding. My friend and I were pretty much rooted to the spot for about an hour after they left.

"I can't believe you need new shoes_, again_."

"Sorry, but being the fastest boy alive isn't to kind to my poor old soles."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that pun."

Wally and Dick were walking through Gotham City's largest mall, on a quest for the most durable pair of shoes they could find. Dick stopped at the directory, trying to find the nearest foot locker, when he felt his friend tugging at the back of his hoodie.

"Dude!" the redhead said excitedly. "Look!"

His friend turned around to find himself in front of a Journeys kids.

"No, we are _not_ going in there."

"but-"

"No Wally. Look, do you see anybody else there but teenage girls trying on Uggs?"

"But look, they have Flash shoes! And Batman too!"

The dark haired boy looked through the store window. Inside was a tall case filled with a variety of superhero-themed converse. Darn, there was no way he was getting out of this.


End file.
